The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
