True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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