It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
two words...techno handjob
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
