dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
