Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
