I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she pinky promised me she was 18
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
