Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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