dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
