I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
