He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
