Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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