3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
