mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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