is your mom at the bar?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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