You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
