He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
