you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
