haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
