I cockslap morals
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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