I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
