I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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