Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
