It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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