apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
