Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
