That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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