we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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