i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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