this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
