I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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