i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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