I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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