I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
