and she was petting her beer can
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
