I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
