so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
