just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
