he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
