I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
