I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
