I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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