I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
