i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
