She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
