rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
