bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
