If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
