She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
zippers are such a cool invention
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
