They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
