you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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